it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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