Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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