How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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