And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize