I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
