don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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