it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
