No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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