hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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