a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
