these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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