Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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