Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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