Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
