you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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