All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
