He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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