This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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