And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You are the jesus of drinking
I believe in your delicious
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
