i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
