My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
