There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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