love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
