It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
