One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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