I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
