we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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