You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
