DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
