My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
