Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
