i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize