i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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