Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
