That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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