Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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