i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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