The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
