Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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