Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
