I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
