just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
