i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The uberlube is also flammable
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I supernannyed him into submission
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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