I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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