I hope mine doesn't look like that
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
