She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
