Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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