Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
