They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
