We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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