im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
