the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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