i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
