When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
