What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
