I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
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