his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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