4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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