Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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